Aries - This month you are going to find the best engineering job ever. It will involve taking cutting edge technology from the lab to production. Great hours, great pay, lots of benefits. Unfortunately it's filled.
Taurus - This will be an interesting month at work as non-technical HR staff will insist on evaluating applicant engineers' technical qualifications. Hilarity and tragedy soon follow.
Gemini - Your head will explode when, for the millionth time in your long teaching career, students will joke that Taxonomy is the study of taxes.
Cancer - Life at the astronomy museum/observatory will return to normal after all the Ophiuchus and Supermoon nonsense of the past months. Unfortunately the craziness will pick up again as we approach...2012!!!
Leo - Your cat will steal your lunch. Everyday. For the whole month. That's what you get for messing with Mother Nature.
Virgo - You will become a loyal reader of this page after you discover your old horoscope site recycles horoscopes every few months. You will tell everyone at the lab and they will all switch to reading this page.
Libra - You will ask your American colleagues for the umpteenth time why the US won't switch to metric. They will make lame, foolish excuses and hastily change the subject.
Scorpio - This will be a great month! Your team's work will be published for the first time in Advanced Composite Materials Today. Now go tell everyone and jump up and down while screaming excitedly!
Sagittarius - Your pointy-haired boss will refuse to send you to the coming Sustainable Building Materials trade fair. He will instead suggest you go to the Herkimer County Fair. Take his advice.
Capricorn - For the first time you will try to inject humor into your Phylum Onychophora lecture. Shouldn't be too hard.
Aquarius - Despite all your best efforts, the Observer Effect will thwart all your efforts to circumvent it. In frustration you will start a new quest to violate the Second Law of Thermodynamics.
Pisces - You think starting a C++ vs. Java flame-war is clever, but it's not. It will only earn you the ire and contempt of the Computer Science department.
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