Aries - This will be an amazing month for you, as your non-geek friends will actually know what your talking about. That's probably because you've stopped using science analogies and Dilbert references. Resist the temptation to try to be cool and talk in chatspeak. It's not cool.
Taurus - Your "free energy" kit will make tons of money on the Internet this month. People from all over the world will send money to download your diagrams and instructions. Next month they'll find out what every other scientist and engineer already knows: it won't work.
Gemini - Your wit and charm will be at their height this month. People will hang on your every word, so much so that your presentation on the Cellular Development of Cynodon Dactylon in Discrete Time Increments will be a smash YouTube hit. This will make your boss envious. He will unsuccessfully try to cut your funding.
Cancer - Focusing on your inner self and getting in touch with your untapped energies will release feelings of balance and serenity. This will open unexplored paths and avenues in your mind bringing new and unexpected perspectives. In other words, you'll find what's bugging your oscillator circuit design.
Leo - This will be a big month for your love life but you need to be careful. People will be attracted to your youthful enthusiasm and obviously superior analytical skills. This month you'll meet someone from the Linguistics department. You'll hit it off, if you can get over the fact that he's better than you at Sudoku.
Virgo - Have you heard the saying "Two heads are better than one"? This month if you're not careful in the Biochemistry lab you might actually find out if it's true...
Libra - This month after a lot of hard work you will earn your PhD in Physics and Astronomy. All your non-scientist friends and family will throw a big party for you. During this party they will keep asking you for love, career, and money advice "since you're a big-shot astronomical doctor now". Direct them to this webpage.
Scorpio - You're going to have a lot of energy this month. Every new thing will seem very exciting, and you're going to start a hundred new personal projects. Try to complete at least some of them. And don't let "work" get in the way of your new hobbies. Ignore that last sentence.
Sagittarius - You need to spend more time out of the lab. Go travel and enjoy the outdoors, you know, that giant room with a blue ceiling. Resist the urge to collect fungi samples, remember, you're on vacation!
Capricorn - All you'll get from your students this month are blank stares and confused faces. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. Try not to tear your hair out.
Aquarius - This month will see you at the height of your powers in the Black Art of RF Engineering and Antenna Design. Your colleagues will be in awe of you as you demonstrate your mastery of wave propagation. Enjoy it while it lasts, as the electromagnetic wave is a fickle mistress.
Pisces - Your non-scientist roommate will drive you crazy by insisting on the "Apollo-astronauts'-heavy-boots-theory". You will spend all night trying to convince him it's wrong, but he will stubbornly refuse to listen to reason. Even more infuriating, after hours of discussion he will wave his hand and dismiss you with a "Okay, whatever. You win".
No comments:
Post a Comment